I want to love, live, and laugh everyday!!!! So here is my story...
June 14th 2010 was a perfectly normal day, kids went to camp, worked out, had lunch, picked Carter up, ate dinner, watched TV, went to bed. That night, I woke up with uncontrollable seizures. Neil called 911, my mom and was terrified. I was in ICU at Holy Cross Hospital for 3 1/2 weeks and a week after,I was diagnosed with Encephalitis from a virus that my nervous system could not fight & attacked my brain. I lost YEARS of memory both short & long term that will never return & part of my brain is permanently damaged. A part of ME died that day. I was put on 4 anti-seizure medications, but was in complete denial.
Last summer my NY Dr. said the word "Epilepsy". Only then did it register: this is real. I cried every day! I have been told that I am a miracle, & should have died. There is so much in life we take for granted. Remembering children's milestones, vacations, anniversaries & driving.
I have always been so strong. I'm a fighter, although sometimes I don't want to fight or make the climb. Epilepsy not only affects me but the entire family. I may look great on the outside, but what's inside nobody sees or feels. I am paying attention to what's being said,& try to stay focused, it just doesn't process quickly,or at all. This has been a life altering experience. I still have seizures, won't throw pity parties, I keep many emotions inside. I'll joke with myself but it still hits home.
Just because you don't see the injury, doesn't mean it's not there. Epilepsy is a silent disease because nobody wants to talk about it. I recently put my Jesse to bed and he said to me, "Mommy, I have a word to describe you" Having no idea what was coming next, he said "RESILIENT". I asked him why? & how he even knew such a word.... he answered..."because you got sick and got back up". I had all I could do to not break down. However, looking at the other side, I have done a good job as a parent if I am showing them strength and fight!
I recently held the 2nd Annual Fly for Faith indoor cycling fundraiser in Boca Raton. Thanks to many friends and family members, we raised over $11,000! I am so inspired by the love and support shown to me and my family. Can't wait til next year's event!
Epilepsy needs awareness, and research. I need to know that I will see my beautiful boys grow up, graduate school, get married, and have children of their own.
Hopefully one day there will be a CURE!!! We must have FAITH!!!!